Yeah, so word is out. I've been back from the Philippines since last week. It took me a while to recouperate and readjust to the weather and the time difference, but I'm glad to say all is well.
Since I got back, a lot of the stories I've shared with people revolved around this one notion; Man! We have it so good over here (in the US). For starters, I realized that a lot of what I stress about here isn't really that bad. Now I'm not saying its easy. To a certain degree, sure, times get tough. But the opportunities to finding solutions and making things better are definitely out there. To put it simply, the system, even though flawed, works. Unlike in the Philippines... the system IS the flaw.
I found out when I arrived in LAX that a few minutes after I left my grandmothers house in the Philippines, someone broke in and robbed her while she was inside. Which is ironic because I met someone during the flight who said to me, "Anyone can just come in and violate the sanctity of your home." This is a high-ranking official saying this. How you like them apples?
Enough about that for now. There's something I wanna put in this entry before anything else. I guess there's no point in keeping it secret anymore. Word is already spreading. So here goes...
I'm not on the road to becoming a priest anymore. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, allow me to clarify. Its not because of the fear of commitment. I know what it means to commit to something. Its not about the vow of chastity. I know I can last without sex. Its not because I don't want to serve God. Serving God has always been and will be a top priority for me... in everything I do. Its not because anyone talked me out of it. I've heard other peoples opinions about me becoming a priest. I took it all into consideration. I didn't turn from that path because I fell in love again, but rather, I allowed myself to fall in love because I'm not on that path anymore.
The reason I'm not on that walk anymore is this; After two years of discerning I realized... its not my calling. Not to say that the last two years have been a waste. On the contrary, these past two years have been such a blessing for me. All my experiences have made me the man I am today... in a BIG way. All my wins and losses, all my hardships and happiness, all my highs and lows, successes and failures, lived in the context of finding out what my true calling is have all played an integral role in teaching me and forming me to be the man I need to be. In effect, I've found my place in this world.
Its funny. I remembered an old entry in here. I said something like "I dont feel the need to wear a cross around my neck, or a rosary around my wrist, or some t-shirt saying I'm catholic to tell others what I'm about." Or something like that. Thinking about it now, I don't think I need to put on a collar to accomplish the work God has for me.
Since I got back, a lot of the stories I've shared with people revolved around this one notion; Man! We have it so good over here (in the US). For starters, I realized that a lot of what I stress about here isn't really that bad. Now I'm not saying its easy. To a certain degree, sure, times get tough. But the opportunities to finding solutions and making things better are definitely out there. To put it simply, the system, even though flawed, works. Unlike in the Philippines... the system IS the flaw.
I found out when I arrived in LAX that a few minutes after I left my grandmothers house in the Philippines, someone broke in and robbed her while she was inside. Which is ironic because I met someone during the flight who said to me, "Anyone can just come in and violate the sanctity of your home." This is a high-ranking official saying this. How you like them apples?
Enough about that for now. There's something I wanna put in this entry before anything else. I guess there's no point in keeping it secret anymore. Word is already spreading. So here goes...
I'm not on the road to becoming a priest anymore. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, allow me to clarify. Its not because of the fear of commitment. I know what it means to commit to something. Its not about the vow of chastity. I know I can last without sex. Its not because I don't want to serve God. Serving God has always been and will be a top priority for me... in everything I do. Its not because anyone talked me out of it. I've heard other peoples opinions about me becoming a priest. I took it all into consideration. I didn't turn from that path because I fell in love again, but rather, I allowed myself to fall in love because I'm not on that path anymore.
The reason I'm not on that walk anymore is this; After two years of discerning I realized... its not my calling. Not to say that the last two years have been a waste. On the contrary, these past two years have been such a blessing for me. All my experiences have made me the man I am today... in a BIG way. All my wins and losses, all my hardships and happiness, all my highs and lows, successes and failures, lived in the context of finding out what my true calling is have all played an integral role in teaching me and forming me to be the man I need to be. In effect, I've found my place in this world.
Its funny. I remembered an old entry in here. I said something like "I dont feel the need to wear a cross around my neck, or a rosary around my wrist, or some t-shirt saying I'm catholic to tell others what I'm about." Or something like that. Thinking about it now, I don't think I need to put on a collar to accomplish the work God has for me.
