Ok, so I've been avoiding posting in here. I guess I feel as though I don't have anything personal or meaningful to say. But here's a thought though.
I have The Passion on DVD. Actually, I have a lot of new DVDs and I've watched most of them already but for some reason, I've avoided watching The Passion. I wanted to find out why I felt that way so I dove deep and asked myself why.
I don't want to watch it because I'm afraid I'm gonna feel compelled to get involved with church again. I feel as though I'm gonna be so moved from watching the movie that I'll want to jump back into the mix and be a leader again. Frankly, I dont want to. Its not out of selfishness that I've decided not to but because I believe my path in life is taking me elsewhere.
We had a similar discussion during FABS last Friday. I shared about my own walk with God through my discernment process and even the years before that. I look at everything I've been through, all the obstacles God has put me through, the first time I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, all the hardships and hurt I experienced, all my wins and successes, my failures, the lessons I've learned, and all the training I've received and discovered that all of those have helped to shape me and mold me into who I am today. I am not on my knees, but that doesnt mean I don't pray. I can acknowledge my greatness, but I am still humbled. I can be mean and direct, but I still love. I don't quote scripture, but I still deliver His message of love. I'm stubborn and unreasonable, but I still live my life according to HIS will.
All in all, what I'm saying is that my journey in life has taken me out of the safety of the walls of the church and has moved me to the outside. That's all there is to say about it. I believe that it would be natural for me to want to get involved in church again only because I'm so used to it. But I believe that if I do that, I'll just be going backwards.
Just so I'm clear about this, allow me to make this statement: There is nothing wrong with serving inside church. Everyone is called to serve in different ways. This is MY journey and no one elses. This is MY walk. Yours will be different from mine.
I guess I DID have something personal to say.
I have The Passion on DVD. Actually, I have a lot of new DVDs and I've watched most of them already but for some reason, I've avoided watching The Passion. I wanted to find out why I felt that way so I dove deep and asked myself why.
I don't want to watch it because I'm afraid I'm gonna feel compelled to get involved with church again. I feel as though I'm gonna be so moved from watching the movie that I'll want to jump back into the mix and be a leader again. Frankly, I dont want to. Its not out of selfishness that I've decided not to but because I believe my path in life is taking me elsewhere.
We had a similar discussion during FABS last Friday. I shared about my own walk with God through my discernment process and even the years before that. I look at everything I've been through, all the obstacles God has put me through, the first time I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, all the hardships and hurt I experienced, all my wins and successes, my failures, the lessons I've learned, and all the training I've received and discovered that all of those have helped to shape me and mold me into who I am today. I am not on my knees, but that doesnt mean I don't pray. I can acknowledge my greatness, but I am still humbled. I can be mean and direct, but I still love. I don't quote scripture, but I still deliver His message of love. I'm stubborn and unreasonable, but I still live my life according to HIS will.
All in all, what I'm saying is that my journey in life has taken me out of the safety of the walls of the church and has moved me to the outside. That's all there is to say about it. I believe that it would be natural for me to want to get involved in church again only because I'm so used to it. But I believe that if I do that, I'll just be going backwards.
Just so I'm clear about this, allow me to make this statement: There is nothing wrong with serving inside church. Everyone is called to serve in different ways. This is MY journey and no one elses. This is MY walk. Yours will be different from mine.
I guess I DID have something personal to say.
