For YEARS I haven't been on this thing. And when I thought I'd redo the template, I was disappointed to see that the choices were still the same tired old designs. I guess some things never change.
On the same note though, in comparison to the man I was when I used to post and the man I am today; I almost don't remember that other guy. I mean, I remember writing many of those things, but wow! The man I used to be is a far distant memory now. Sure there are remnants of who he is still influencing who I am today, but its almost like he has no room in my life now.
A few of the differences I've noticed:
I'm more blunt these days. I have a point to get across, then BAM! There it is.
I have so much less tolerance for bullshit. When people play mind games with me, beat around the bush, walk on eggshells, patronize, or any of that, I give them a very eloquent FUCK YOU and walk away.
I have a different purpose in my life now. Even though down to the core, my passion is still in being of service to humanity, I'm more about me. I'm focused on getting to a place where I can be of most use. So its all about my journey and my goals for now. I had to up my game because I wanted to be able to reach people who are higher up on the food chain. I wanna be closer to the ONE PERCENT of the population who controls 95% of the world.
I'm no longer a Californian. What that means is that I'm not spoiled and self centered anymore. After I left, I began to see how arrogant and egotistical Californians are (in general) compared to the rest of the nation. We all think we're pretty, handsome, sexy, fit, progressive thinkers, trend-setters, and all that shit. I live in NY now where I've noticed that the general attitude many people have here is; "I've got shit to do, get out of my way!" Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe its just me. Although from an observational viewpoint, that's what it looks like.
I've come to terms with my real station in life. Although I'm not about to just be content on being here, its valuable for me to know exactly where my Point A is. And its nowhere near what I led others to believe. At the same time, because of my choice to move out to the east coast, I gave up all I had in terms of reputation, status, possessions, connections, and lifestyle. I am, for a lack better term, back at square one. Its an adventure though. If you know MMO's, what I did was re-roll.
I loved and lost a few times. I'm still not giving up, although I have to admit, the game is really starting to bore and frustrate me. I know now that having someone to share my life with is THE missing piece to my puzzle. I wanna provide for someone. I wanna share my world with someone. I wanna go on this adventure with someone. Because by myself, its just "existing." With someone by my side, its "living." Now if I can just meet a woman who doesn't have baggage or feels the need to play female mind games, I'd be a happy camper!
I'm gonna wrap it up there for now. That should sorta set the tempo and theme of who I am now. Future posts will be about what I'm doing, projects, goals, visions, and steps I'm taking towards my wonderful life. Catch you next post.
On the same note though, in comparison to the man I was when I used to post and the man I am today; I almost don't remember that other guy. I mean, I remember writing many of those things, but wow! The man I used to be is a far distant memory now. Sure there are remnants of who he is still influencing who I am today, but its almost like he has no room in my life now.
A few of the differences I've noticed:
I'm more blunt these days. I have a point to get across, then BAM! There it is.
I have so much less tolerance for bullshit. When people play mind games with me, beat around the bush, walk on eggshells, patronize, or any of that, I give them a very eloquent FUCK YOU and walk away.
I have a different purpose in my life now. Even though down to the core, my passion is still in being of service to humanity, I'm more about me. I'm focused on getting to a place where I can be of most use. So its all about my journey and my goals for now. I had to up my game because I wanted to be able to reach people who are higher up on the food chain. I wanna be closer to the ONE PERCENT of the population who controls 95% of the world.
I'm no longer a Californian. What that means is that I'm not spoiled and self centered anymore. After I left, I began to see how arrogant and egotistical Californians are (in general) compared to the rest of the nation. We all think we're pretty, handsome, sexy, fit, progressive thinkers, trend-setters, and all that shit. I live in NY now where I've noticed that the general attitude many people have here is; "I've got shit to do, get out of my way!" Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe its just me. Although from an observational viewpoint, that's what it looks like.
I've come to terms with my real station in life. Although I'm not about to just be content on being here, its valuable for me to know exactly where my Point A is. And its nowhere near what I led others to believe. At the same time, because of my choice to move out to the east coast, I gave up all I had in terms of reputation, status, possessions, connections, and lifestyle. I am, for a lack better term, back at square one. Its an adventure though. If you know MMO's, what I did was re-roll.
I loved and lost a few times. I'm still not giving up, although I have to admit, the game is really starting to bore and frustrate me. I know now that having someone to share my life with is THE missing piece to my puzzle. I wanna provide for someone. I wanna share my world with someone. I wanna go on this adventure with someone. Because by myself, its just "existing." With someone by my side, its "living." Now if I can just meet a woman who doesn't have baggage or feels the need to play female mind games, I'd be a happy camper!
I'm gonna wrap it up there for now. That should sorta set the tempo and theme of who I am now. Future posts will be about what I'm doing, projects, goals, visions, and steps I'm taking towards my wonderful life. Catch you next post.
